how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
