I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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