note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize