I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
