Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
