Dual....:-)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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