I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
