Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
