Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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