I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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