I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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