Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
