Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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