He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
