we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
