and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
