I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
