I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
