brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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