ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
