took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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