I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
