I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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