I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize