Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
