No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
