I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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