Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
