BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
