Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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