i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize