its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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