Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
