Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Can I color on your dick again?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
