yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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