Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
