You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
