walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
