Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
