they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
