Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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