Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
