peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
