as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
