So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just invented taco cereal.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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