i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
