Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize