I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
