non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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