dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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