..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
