that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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