that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
