PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just invented taco cereal.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
