Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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