dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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