Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
