Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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