Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize