when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if only i could text you this smell
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
