idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
