Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
should my penis look like a turkey
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
