I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
