Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No subtext here. People are naked.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
