walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
