He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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