If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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